Billy

My interest in Billy Corgan started in eighth grade, thanks to a girl I would rather not mention by name considering the state of our relationship (non-existent for a reason). I'll call her A. A played some songs for me after school one day, "Siamese Dream", "Disarm" , "Today" which all in fact rocked my world. A and I began an obsession (too strong a word? not really) with The Smashing Pumpkins and Billy in particular. Yes, we felt like we knew him and were on a first name basis with him. Around that time, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness was released and my life changed.

You know the angst-ridden teenage years? I spent them listening to Billy, James, D'arcy, and Jimmy. Those hours I spent in my room every day when I wasn't babysitting or over at G's or N's house? Writing the lyrics to the songs in my journals. Yes, I was a silly teenage fan. But I can also say I was just a girl who felt moved by Billy's music and the way he seemed to know exactly how I was feeling.

A and I cried when we saw MTV news report that Jimmy had been kicked out of the band for his drug problems and Jonathan Melvoin, a keyboardist and percussionist that toured with the Pumpkins died from an apparent drug overdose. We got in trouble in 9th grade math class for spending more time copying the drawings in the MCAIN booklet pictures than solving x(2)-55(3x7)=y but we just didn't care. I don't really remember having any SP posters hanging in my room but maybe I'll ask my mom about that sometime. I do know I carried a picture of Billy in my wallet that I probably have packed away in a box in our garage right now. G, a close friend, even found a postcard with Billy on it and mailed it to me one summer, "from" him to me. I still have that too.

I can honestly say over the years there have been times where I wished my life could have a soundtrack, times where music could just start playing in the background appropriate for each situation. After all, there is a song for every situation, a song for every mood, and most importantly, a song by Billy that pulls at every heartstring I have. I can't wait to see him July 18th.

"For a 6-foot-3 guy with no hair and a whiny voice, I've done all right."-Billy Corgan