Keep your hands, feet, and objects to yourself

"I ate a nail this weekend."

"I feel ready for 4th grade."

"I need a band aid."

"When you lie, you get bumps on your tongue."

"But I didn't need to go to the bathroom at recess!"

"Why do we have to, like, do math?"

"Can I have a band aid?"

"What's the surprise for tomorrow? I promise I won't tell anyone!"

"I get up on me and that's what I said."

"You can be good or bad, it's your choice."

"Summer school's going to rock."

"My mom is old. She's 30something."

"But you never told me I couldn't put the book on my head."

"Can I get a band aid?"

"We only have 21 days of school left so I don't care if you're gonna be my friend anymore."

"I have a new counselor and I think I'm gonna like her."

"That's mines."

I swear, every single one of those statements was uttered in my classroom today, none of which by me.